A couple of years ago, in the midst of a conversation with a fairly large group of people, a long-time friend referred to me as a feminist. The label surprised me. Until then, without having thought about it, I had thought of feminists as extremists, as women who were militant about changing the world. I wasn’t militant and I wasn’t working to advance any ideology – I just wanted things to be fair.
What was fair? Well, as am example, why should my brother get more allowance than me, simply because he was a boy? Why shouldn’t my husband help clear the table at a friend’s backyard barbeque, or change our baby’s diapers? Of course my daughters can cut their hair short, or be engineers, or wear trousers to model UN conferences. In my world, policies and rules are gender neutral. And fair. And I have no tolerance for things that are not fair.
March 8 was International Women’s Day. It’s an opportunity to reflect on fairness, the state of women worldwide, and my feminist views.
Globally, women and men are not even close to being equal. Worldwide, there is not a single country in which women earn the same income as men.
The rights to vote, to inherit, to pass along nationality, to go out on the streets as a single woman without a male chaperone – these are rights commonly withheld from women in many countries. The right to drive is withheld from women in Saudi Arabia. Even in “the west”, many prominent business and arts leaders still have negative stereotypes about women and girls’ abilities and skills. In fact, most of us in “the west”, without realizing it, still have (and perpetuate) stereotypes about girls and women. When was the last time you met a little boy and patted his head while commenting on how handsome he was? When was the last time a male movie star was asked about his hairstyle?
Personally, I have come to realize that my way of thinking is indeed “feminist”, and not the norm, even among liberal, educated people from “developed” countries. As I have grown, my views have become stronger (more feminist?). I am now more vocal about, and aware of, fairness, particularly as it related to women and girls. My recent jobs and clients have focused on empowering women and girls in “less industrialized” countries where women lack the opportunities and rights that I enjoy. I try not to let individuals get away with sexist comments – even inadvertent, subcounscious ones (Why is a wolf always a “he”? Exactly how old is that girl in your office?). I push my husband to be more conscious of his language. I volunteer with Girl Scouts to help grow leaders. I try to make a difference, and to make the world more fair, one person at a time.
What about you? Are you a feminist? How do you further fairness for girls and women in the world?
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