The art of negotiation, for me, starts with a global understanding of two basic rules.
1. Never be the first to lay your cards on the table.
2. Never back anyone (including yourself) into a corner.
I’ve used both of these rules when it’s come to working with potential clients or negotiating for myself. For the scariest part of negotiation, money, it’s the hardest thing to apply. The biggest reason is that we put too much import on the dollar amount – not the added “value” of who we are or what we offer.
There are times when these two rules don’t always pan out. I’ve been on the receiving end of one-liners many a time in my life that simply slam the door in my face. And now that I’m a parent, I’ve found myself trying to shut down arguments with my 5-year old with what I refer to as door-slammers. This is something I want to avoid at all cost!
Here’s an example at work.
Bossman says, “Well, I realize I’m too old and can’t change”. Famous last words when my position was eliminated.Whoa. How do you argue that one? Teach an old dog new tricks?
Here’s an example at home.
Mom says, “Because I said so”. Yes, I really TRY to avoid that door-slammer with my 5-year old.
Sometimes these are things we cannot avoid. But the larger lesson is that we have to either learn to accept them or move on. Agent N shared a story with me about the recent government decision (in another country) to change an important holiday and move it to different day – only weeks before the actual day. It was like declaring that Thanksgiving is no longer on a Thursday two weeks prior. They also just decided to ban daylight savings this year, which means most technology (computer and calendar clocks) are messed up. These are a couple of door slammers that either citizens of this country must accept – or move on!
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