Humans are often both their best and worst advocates at the same time. I sometimes have these episodes of chronic migraines. Nothing life threatening or to worry about, but when it hits, it’s incredible how flooded I am with emotions I can barely manage – both mine and others’ emotions. It is not so much the pain that is the problem. The human body has this incredible power to adapt to chronic pain, and I do not even feel it so much.
There is one part of me who knows what is happening and one part who suddenly boils with a mixture of impatience and helplessness from an inability to change it. Actually the more I try to fix it, the worse it gets usually, and I just have to sit it out. But sitting still can be excruciating with the full consciousness that life and the people around me keep going, and that I am falling behind.
And then there is managing expectations of those around me. If they don’t know about it, they expect of me things I cannot deliver. If they come to know, they always want to be helpful. That is something I can testify to, never has anyone not tried to offer their help when learning of a migraine.
But sometimes I have to wonder, are they truly trying to be helpful? Or are they projecting their own feelings of helplessness that mirror those I feel inside myself? I most often encounter an amount of personal rejection if I ever tell someone that there is absolutely nothing they can do, and that by engaging me they are actually making it worse. Then comes the general impatience, their impressions that, “it’s been long enough, so today when I ask you how you are doing you should be replying that all is better.” I so wish it worked that way!
In our society where we think we can fix everything, I feel like we sometimes lose touch of the fact some things you cannot fix. Feeling less than healthy or down or having an off day is all a part of life. It comes with growth and maturing and even aging. Maybe a part of me wants us learn to embrace all of this again.
Your mission if you choose to accept it: True empathy starts with acceptance. Accept the growth pains that life hands you. #growthpains #humanup #empathy #acceptance
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