I just had an epiphany, and it hit me square on the head. This scenario was right in front of me the whole time and I never saw it.
If you’re familiar with my blogposts, you’ll know I’m a huge proponent of being human as a leader. I define being human as being kind, being humble or self deprecating to an extent, being inspiring and celebratory in style and being straight – authentic.
I like to roll the kindness and humility into vulnerability.
As someone who preaches being vulnerable, it never occurred to me that the rules need to be different for women. This should have been my first clue. Of course the rules are different.
I’ve been on a mission to re-write the rules in corporate america for women, such that they are written by women for women.
And yet in this case, it wasn’t a part of the revised edition, in part because I want men and women to be treated equally as leaders when it comes to being human, and in part I believe women can best model vulnerability.
What I’ve discovered on my voyage, is that vulnerability might be perceived as “damsel in distress” and attract men to rescue you. Uh oh. Well meant, but unintended.
So gals, what does this mean for us? It means we need to be less personal in our vulnerability. Err on being professionally vulnerable, removing emotional drama and maybe even anything about your personal life until you are past the honeymoon period with coworkers.
Emotional connections are super important, but good timing is even more so.
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