Is respect earned or granted? I debated this with a friend when skiing one day. Unfortunately we hadn’t started drinking as it got pretty heated. It all worked out in the end. We agreed to disagree and our families spent the rest of the week together where we enjoyed one another’s company.
But later when Agent Wilde threw out a pithy statement “Shhh does not mean yesh”, I thought about how many times our culture assumes that silence (or being passed out drunk) is a reason to advance an action. In which case, respect is neither earned nor granted, is it? And yet, our beliefs, convictions, feelings, and bodies all belong exclusively to us.
One thing children learn from the moment they enter kindergarten is that respect CAN BE both earned and granted when both parties participate. When a child’s teacher grants them respect, they feel empowered to make important decisions. When that child finishes their homework assignments on time, they earn the respect of their teachers. The superior to inferior relationship of teacher to student is not an absolute trusting relationship. There are actions that inspire reactions that, in turn, inspire actions.
Your mission, if you choose to accept it: Gather the courage and safely go out of your way to show support and respect of someone in need. Are they discouraged from a bad day and lacking self-respect, or beaten down by a tough manager, or humiliated in public? Exercise caution. There are plenty of reasons to stand down, and it sometimes takes your James Bond skills to suss out the situation. So be kind. Be secret if you have to. Be safe. Be appropriate. Now go.
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