Yesterday I read a post on social media that one of my dearest soul mates is going into hospice. She has been on the cancer-journey for some time now. A mother just barely 50, she has two beautiful school-aged children and a loving husband who is fiercely standing by her side.
This is not a unique tale. But it’s not a tale of someone who deserves to expire at 50, or who deserves to get sick.
She is a good-to-the-core human being who chose her career in academia, and who is probably one of the most intelligent people I know.
I’ve been emotionally shutting out the thought that she would die before we both turned old. I had imagined she would outlive all of us with her fiery spirit. She amazes me whenever we connect. Although we live in the same city, we haven’t seen much of each other. I brought over lunch a few weeks ago, and we had a fantastic time together. It was like old times. And then life got in the way, until yesterday. Yesterday I reached to see if I can or should come see her in hospice.
The answer was yes, for a short visit.
I don’t want to let go of the idea of her being a phone call away, and yet I knew this day could come, and I have been grieving for my cherished friend for some time now in small doses. Sometimes in the shower when the tears blend with the water on my face. Sometimes before I fall asleep.
And now, this new reality will shock my system into extreme grief and loss, and I’m not sure what I am going to do with the tsunami of emotions when they strike. Cancer sucks.
Your mission, if you choose to accept it: Don’t let life get in the way of truly meaningful relationships. Stay connected in whatever way you can. Find what works for you, and integrate it within your schedule and routine.
Every life, every relationship, matters. We need to look them in the eye and embrace them every day, instead of getting on with our busy selves or relying on social screen time to make up for it.
Be kind. Be safe. Be appropriate. Now go!
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